So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
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