ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
