got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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