i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
