why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
