Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
did i walk over a car last night?
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
