I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
