If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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