so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
