I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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