Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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