mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize