like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
