Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
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