ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
