life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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