why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
