i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I wear drunk well.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
