It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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