This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
