i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
