he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Randomize
