By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
