Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
