Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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