I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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