i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
