Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
