Pregnant stripper...not hot.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
i think i just lost a toe
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
