**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
