What a fucking waste of an outfit
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
