dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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