I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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