So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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