i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
