You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
