So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
In America we eat man semen.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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