Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
4 words: hood of his car
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
