Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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