Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
