...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
