I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
