That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
