You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
