the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
only if we run a train.
done.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize