Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
