Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
