One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
