What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
