she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
