needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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